


Pity

by D0ll



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Child Neglect, F/M, Pre asoiaf - Freeform, Pre-A Game of Thrones, Pre-Canon, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 11:17:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3132497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D0ll/pseuds/D0ll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Catelyn thinks she could have loved Jon, in another time, in another life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pity

**Author's Note:**

> I think the relatonship between Catelyn and Jon is very interesting but more in a mother and strained son kind of way instead of purely sexualizing it which is what I wrote about. I think this is more interesting than the latter because its more true to the actual work. This is a kind of prequel to the Game of Thrones series/book.

Lady Catelyn watched as Jon Snow, her husband's bastard, from hallway as he dressed himself with no aid from the servants. Jon always seemed to be by himself, perhaps he was just accustomed to being alone, the Lady has in the past done her best to seperate him from her and her family. But now he almost seemed to enjoy being alone, it no longer seemed like a punishment. The boy continued dressing pulling a shirt over his head completely unaware of her presence at his door.

Looking in through the crack of the doorway, she watched Jon with his dark hair, lean body of a boy who has grown out of his baby fat stage but not old enough yet for the awkward stage of early puberty and eyes the color of dark thundercloud. He already resembles the young Ned Catelyn had meant many years ago so much she feels the urge to scream and pull out chunks of his hair. It isn't right that he look more like her husband than any of her children, the trueborn Starks.

On more than one occassion Catelyn has stood here and wanted to smother the youth in his sleep with a pillow. Poison his drink he left unattended on his desk. Punch and kick and bite at him until he's gone out of this room which is just as well furnished as any of her children. But Catelyn won't because she loves her husband and she knows if she does this she would be as good as dead to him.

The Lady continues to watch Jon, this child she doesn't want, but who will just not leave and sighs with a down turned mouth. 'What a pity,' she thinks.

If she were anyone else, Jon would be an easy child to love. He was a smart boy, he learned easily and quickly from his tutors without needing any extra help from her husband like her son Robb did. Which was a good thing, Eddard needed time with her child, his legal heir. Her husband was already spending enough time with his bastard for her liking. If Jon needed extra time to learn skills; like his letters, sword fighting and horse backriding, Catelyn would have hated him even more, if possible. It was good thing he almost seemed to come natural to those things.

Jon was handsome lad, if not for the circumstances of his birth, girls would have flocked to him. Tall, dark, handsome and brooding. The kind of man ladies sigh over. Yes, maidens would have been begging and fighting for his hand in marriage even now at this young age. Ladies would be making friends with his other siblings just to get closer to him.

Jon was already showing sighs of being a leader with all of Eddard's honor and noble qualities though no possibilties for any of his inheirtance. People would have flocked to follow his lead if he was trueborn. He had shown how loyal he was to his half siblings. Taking blame for things Robb and Arya had done. Lady Catelyn had known the truth but let Jon be punished by Ned anyway over her children numerous times. 'He deserved it', she had told herself, because of what he was, a no good bastard.

But Jon was still somehow friendly to her and her child, Sansa, who tried like many other daughters to copy her mother in every way which included her treatment toward Jon. Sansa treated him just as cruel as Lady Catelyn with harsh words in private and grudging polite and false formalities in public. To her surprise Jon's kindness towards her and her daughter still seemed to come from a genuine place.

Jon was still capable of generousity even with all he had taken away from him. He always shared his toys with his siblings and even low born squires with out being told unlike her children who all fought over their things like animals.

And whenever Jon does make a mistake, and her husband is quick to discipine him and explain the errors of his way, he learns from his mistake. He never seems to make the same error twice.

Yes, Jon Sow would have been a good son, an agreeable son. Easy to raise and easy to love. He would have made a fine older brother to his younger siblings and taken care of Winterfell well in his older age. If he was her's, a legal heir, he wouldn't be held back by from his current feelings of alienation, his sense of worthlessness about his birth and the sulkyness he is already beginning to show even as a child. If only he had been her child. Yes she could have loved him if he were her's. Catelyn feels unexpected twinge of sorrow of what could have been if only the circumstances of his birth were different.

Lady Catelyn should have known Jon would sense her presence at the doorway eventually he was already too self concious for his own good. Turning his narrow head toward her he cast a gaze at her with gray eyes that seemed too wise and sullen for his age. But they are still someway filled with that same childish hope, that Catelyn would call out to him, embrace him, run her fingers through his dark unruly curls and tell him old legends and myths from her homeland like she does for her all children.

But Jon is not her son and Catelyn does not forget this fact for a moment. Like so many times before she cast a dark glare at him that comes all too easy for her and slams his door shut casting him out once more.


End file.
